I see you rollin'... I hatin'...

Haterade: I'm not proud to say this, but I've had some recently.  I'm going to start hating on the 'burbs soon... in about T-minus 1 sentence.  For you people from the burbs, it's slang for 'suburbs'.  I hosted a couch surfer a couple weeks ago.  His name was Robert and he is from England.  Being an Englishman, I knew he'd appreciate some good things that Portland has to offer such as music, art, food, beer, and coffee.  If you're a local, you know what I'm talking about because this is all stuff that gives Portland its reputation.  Apparently, these characteristics don't extend too far out of Portland itself.

There were some errands for me to run, one of which brought me to my good ole hometown of Lake Oswego.  So back to the 902LO I went and decided to grab some grub with Robert.  I brought him to one of the greatest inventions mankind has ever created: Happy Hour.  You heard me right... one of the GREATEST.  It's up there with the wheel, light bulb, assembly line, refrigerator, microwave, and pyramid scheme.  So at happy hour, there are some rules I strictly follow (for those of you that really know me well, I've got rules in all aspects of my life that I adhere to.... most of which people do not know of)...

1. My primary goal is to eat good and/or cheap food
2. If I order beer, it must be on tap and it must not suck
3. I will not spend more money than if I were to eat a regular meal at that restaurant

We were at Stanford's, which has excellent food.  There was a little blip though, the beer selection was horrendous.   We're talking about Coors Light, Bud Light, Stella, Guinness, Stella, Blue Moon, Ninkasi IPA, Mirror Pond, and Hef.  Okay, so Ninkasi and Hef are pretty good, but I wasn't in the mood for any of them.  I was in the mood for a beer that could mirror me as a person: a true local gem of a beer that's also bold and black.  Most happy hours require a beverage purchase and I am thankful that Stanford's doesn't because it would be a shame to pay $3 for an iced tea.

After eating, Robert was excited to get a true American experience.  So I brought him to Costco for samples. It was then decided that we should go get some coffee.  This is what really disappointed me, every coffee shop we drove by was a Starbucks.  When I stopped to ask about a coffee shop nearby and specifically said that we wanted 'good coffee', the girl had the nerve to say that there was a Starbucks down the street.  It's a shame that I had to repeat myself and ask her yet again, "Do you know where we can find some good coffee?"  Anyhow, I was disgusted so we just left to go find a music venue for the evening.  It should go without saying, but we definitely returned back into the city of Portland for the music.

Eat my shorts burbs.  I'm not coming back until I'm pathetically whipped (married and wife wants kids)...  or until the hippies start taking over the city again... whichever comes first. D: